Too Close for Comfort
by thedissident
Summary: A short weiss side B piece, featuring many adult assassins cramped into a small area. You'll get it, trust me.


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Rating: K+ for swearing or innuendos?

Pairing: None obvious, flirty Chloe?

Timeline: sideB Spoilers: perhaps some for sideB.

Dedicated to **talithax**. Hopefully this will make you smile at least a little! This rather pointless and silly fic was inspired by the sideB characters and their just-large-enough couches.

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**Too close for Comfort**

"What's wrong, Aya?" Michel asked from his spot on the far left.

What's wrong? Is he serious? What could possibly be _less wrong_ with this picture?

We were on a picnic. Since we're assassins and thus have loads of free time while other respectable folks our age are confined to cubicles, the park Michel and Mihirogi chose for our little excursion this afternoon was pretty much deserted, being a weekday and all.

The sun was bright but not harsh, the temperature was perfectly comfortable. And yet it's just so - wrong.

You'd think that since we make a good few grand every week with our highly dangerous career, we'd be able to afford certain things. Like more than one couch. Or in this case, more than one picnic blanket.

But oh no… whether the powers that be up in Kryptonbrand were being stingy with our picnic allowance or Michel had simply forgotten to pack extra blankets, I cannot be certain. And I most definitely will not make the effort to ask, since everyone looks perfectly happy with this arrangement.

Seven people, two baskets of food, one ice cooler and one blanket. Did I mention only one blanket?

Perched at the far left edge of said (ugly, paisley) picnic blanket, Michel, Mihirogi and Free were busying themselves unpacking the various Tupperware containers and beverage bottles from the cooler, Ken and Yuki were comparing technical specs of their mp3 players, and Chloe was sitting next to me with his arms crossed and looking rather content with staring at the patch of grass in front of him.

Only Yuki seemed disgruntled, and that's because he's _always_ looks that way. And I'm pretty sure the fact that Free was partially crushing his left foot wasn't helping.

Scone?" a voice startled me out of my silent hatred of nature and picnics and all related subjects.

"Oh - yes, thank you". By now, everyone had started piling their Styrofoam plates, and Free was passing out cups of lemonade and tea.

I had no appetite. I rarely eat much to begin with - I can't recall a time when I had ever eaten much - but the lack of legroom and Chloe's foot brushing my right thigh were starting to make me edgy. How was I supposed to be able to enjoy my meal like this?

I considered taking off my coat and sitting on it, a few feet away from the group, but not far enough to seem as though I were avoiding them (which I might be - sort of). There was a time where I may have done this without a second thought to whether or not my teammates may find this insulting to them, but now I found myself torn.

I was in middle of chopping my broccoli into even little pieces with my plastic fork when Ken chose this moment to laugh animatedly at one of Mihirogi's jokes and slam a shoulder into my side.

Teeth grinding, broccoli scattered on my plate, I tried to ignore how my blood pressure seemed to be rising as our group gradually became more relaxed and rowdier. Michel and Chloe were chuckling at something Yuki said about KR (the words "beard" and "hair dye" were heard) when I made the decision.

"Oh shit" I said suddenly, as I "accidentally" spilled my lemonade over my (thankfully waterproof) shoes and part of the blanket underneath. I hurriedly got up and made as though to brush off my pants, making as good a show as possible. "It's all wet, I guess I'll go sit over here on the grass…"

Silence.

Five heads turned towards me, staring. Only Chloe averted his eyes, and it seemed suspiciously as though he were trying his damnedest not to burst out laughing.

"Aya… it's not that wet…sit back on the blanket!" Michel piped up perkily.

"Let me see the wet spot…no, Michel's right, it's not so bad…Thanks a lot, Mihirogi.

"Maybe his socks got soaked and he plans on airing out his feet", Ken said with an almost straight face.

I'll kill them all. Each and every one of them, slowly.

"I'd rather not sit on lemony blanket, thanks much", I answered with what I hoped was an even voice, "I'll just sit right here on the grass, it's no big deal."

More silence.

"I have this impression that Aya would rather not sit on the blanket for other reasons", Free suggested in his monotone.

"Like what? Are you implying that Aya doesn't…like sitting close to us?" Chloe finally spoke up, still looking as though he would give in to laughter at any moment.

I began to count slowly backwards from ten. Somewhere around six, I gave up. Sitting back down on my slightly damp spot on the blanket, I proceeded to mutilate my portion of roast chicken.

* * *

Two hours later-

Ken hefted the black trash bag over his shoulders as Michel packed up the containers. Blanket folded and basket and cooler packed, we started to head back to headquarters. After a few minutes, Chloe caught up with me and we walked silently.

"And how did you feel about the illustrious KB picnic?" he asked, not quite smirking. "Hidaka seemed to enjoy himself immensely but for some reason I don't get the feeling you weren't as thrilled as he was…"

I turned to him, glaring. "Whatever gave you that impression? I mean, can't you tell, I just adore having no room to turn in either direction without brushing up against people while I'm eating, sitting on a blanket - in public -"

"- Not the touchy feeling type, I see", he murmured with a wink. I set my jaw and ignored him, looking ahead. But I couldn't help wondering what this fluttering in my stomach was… "That blanket", I said quietly to Chloe, making sure Yuki and Michel were well out of earshot, "is inadequate in size for seating more than three grown adults, tops."

"Quite right", he agreed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ears. "Sadly, I'm rather used to it. If you haven't noticed, the bigwigs of KB believe that a few large seats are better than many smaller ones."

Resisting the urge to snort, I settled for kicking at a large stray pebble in my path. As it made its' final bounce and landed on someone's driveway, I looked up at Chloe and couldn't help but wonder how someone as sophisticated and refined as he could bear with this team's little quirks.

As though reading my mind, he answered. "It's not so bad really. At least none of them try to take ..er…advantage of the tight seating arrangements. After a while I just learned to ignore that there are people pressed up very close to me in a large room that could easily house at least four couches." He paused. "Of course, I often forget to stop ignoring various people even after I'm no longer sitting on the couch with them…"

I laughed. Feeling decidedly less irritated about the subject at hand, I walked alongside Chloe in silence until we reach the front gates. Following Free and Michel through the front door, I had taken off my coat and was about to climb the stairs to my apartment when a hand shot out and stopped me.

Chloe.

"If you want", he spoke in a conspiratorial tone, "I have a much bigger and much more comfortable blanket in my room. And it has no hint of lemon…unless you want it to…" He had disappeared down the hallway to the kitchen by the time I understood his meaning, and shaking my head, made my way up the stairs.

Once again though, I couldn't help but crack a tiny smile.

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/end./ Thanks for reading. 


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